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This time around, we contemplate a game about doing BMX stunts for the troops, re-design Super Mario Galaxy but for flat earthers, create a game for boys (finally), and, finally, Sabotage Rally — the next big esport.

Introduction

Barbershop Online was a huge success, with free to play elements such as giving players a free pair of scissors at launch and a single hair regrowth pill driving player activity.

Griffin tried to get Nick to sign off on allowing him to explore his side project of cancelling the Suicide Squad movie. Nick refused to believe that one of the characters in the movie is called Slipknot, before suggesting the existence of other characters called Puddle O' Mud and Hoobastank.

This Episode's Game

Sabotage Rally is a multiplayer driving game in which control of a car is passed between players every five seconds. The goal of the game is to avoid being the player that crashes the vehicle. As such, each player is encouraged to use their five seconds to put the vehicle in immediate peril so as to make things harder for the next player.

The players are equipped with limited-use special abilities that make this task more difficult. These abilities are specifically designed to encourage yomi and include abilities which:

  • Add a second to the active player's timer
  • Momentarily press the active player's handbrake
  • Add a physical obstacle to the landscape
  • Add a false, non-physical object to the landscape
  • Subtract a second from the player's own timer
  • Reverse the turn order of players.
  • Deploy a ramp in front of the vehicle
  • Forces the active player to accelerate above 50mph

The players recharge their abilities by performing stunts and playing in a generally risky fashion during their turns.

At the end of each turn, the game momentarily freezes the vehicle in its current position and rotates the camera, giving the next player a quick moment to prepare but also allowing a particularly skilled handover which truly dooms the next player to be fully observed and appreciated.

In a secondary VR party mode, the player can also choose to throw off following drivers by altering the conditions within the vehicle itself, such as retracting the driving seat and smearing substances over the windscreen. A further asynchronous mode gives players each a minute to sabotage each others cars and then challenges players to complete simple challenges using the resulting wreck. In this mode, players are able to booby-trap their own cars so as to limit the damage that can be undertaken by their opponents.

Whilst the game is best in couch multiplayer mode, there is no upper limit to the number of people that can be playing the game at any time.

Sabotage Rally's release is slated to coincide with the launch of the Playstation VR, and the game will be available free for PS+ users, with a bevvy of DLC content to entice users to spend further money on the game.

The game is sponsored by Geico, and the car is driven by the Geico Gecko. Three Geico adverts play between each round.

Other Game Ideas Discussed

British Bake-Off, But Contestants Have to Invent Convoluted Heist Plans Instead of Creating Delicious Desserts

Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood still judge the popular BBC competition. The first round is a heist in which contestants all prepare to rob the same building. The second round involves robbing a building sight unseen.

Enough With These Girls Games, How About Something For The Lads Aged 16-35

A 2D platformer in which the player controls a guncar. Filled with army men that eat steak and old timey guns. The packaging is blue and the game comes with a free diaper.

BMX Stunts For The Troops

Primarily a BMX game where instead of getting points you get cheers from the troops and in which the player yells affirmative pro-military platitudes mid-stunt. After each level, the player gets to control the troops in a Real Time Strategy segment, with the strength of said troops dependant upon how inspired they were by the player's stunts.

Tetris But The Pieces Dropped Are Determined By Amiibo That Represent Each Block Shape And You Can Only Use That Amiibo Once

Various Amiibo are designated shapes and players scan them into their game to make up perfect tetris puzzle patterns. The shapes are not necessarily existing tetrominoes.

Kerbal Space Program, But You're Building Big Fucking Gundam Mechs And They Fight And Shit.

Griffin complains that the Kerbals are basically just the Minions. Nick countered that the Kerbals, the Minions and The Rabbids are all basically the exact same concept and that his brain cannot differentiate between them. The game is a mech-building game but with Kerbal Space Program levels of complexity and difficulty, and as such many fights would be between robots that simply keel over and collapse immediately.

A Class-Based Shooter Where Each Class Is Designed For A Specific Peripheral i.e. a Steering Wheel or a DDR Pad

A game in which different classes use different controls systems such as steering wheels, DDR pads, Guitar Hero controllers, the Eyetoy, the SEGA Activator, the GBA e-reader and Wii Vitality Sensors. Nick and Griffin decided they were too lazy to come up with most of these systems, but suggested that the e-reader could swipe cards which change the direction the player was pointed in and primed and fired their weapon.

Just Fester's Quest Again

Inspired by a real video game adaptation of The Addams Family released in 1989, 23 years after the original TV show was cancelled; a video game based on a TV show cancelled in 1995 and starring one of the secondary characters of that show.

Super Mario Galaxy For Flat Earth People

Super Mario 64, but if you run off the side of the level gravity reverses? Possibly? Is that how that works?

You Are Trying To Live In A Movie Theater But The Ushers Are Getting Suspicious

A stealth survival game in which a player has to disguise the fact that you are squatting in various buildings whilst surviving on the limited resources available within that location. Asymmetric multiplayer in the vein of Splinter Cell's Spies vs. Mercs pits ushers vs. people trying to get away with free real estate.

Trivia

  • Mary Berry is from Bath in Somerset. Griffin's impression of Mary Berry veers far more towards Liverpool and North Wales. And occasionally East London. And Australia.

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